Peanut Butter Pinched in Heat-and-Drought Sandwich; Jam ‘Still Tastes Great On Its Own’: Jam Producers
The dismal tide of runaway climate change has washed yet another harbinger of doom upon humanity’s shores: The price of peanut butter is set to increase dramatically, spurring tough-talking journalists to ask a panicked public, ‘How would you deal with a peanut butter price jump?’
How could this happen?
For starters, there has been a horrible drought in Texas – maybe you’ve heard? Well Texas produces a lot of peanuts. And Georgia produces even more, and it was affected by the drought as well. It’s the largest peanut producer in America, and this past summer it, too, endured record-breaking heat and a terrible dearth of rain.
One Georgian farmer, a three-decade veteran of the field, commented on the particular severity of the drought: “It was so dry you didn’t have any moisture in the soil to make the seed even rot. It just laid there in the soil. I’ve never seen that before.”
So farmers are suffering due to the catastrophic effects of a warming climate – we’ve heard all about that kind of thing before. But this is also going to affect consumers in a significant way: Americans will already have to face devastating peanut butter price hikes this year, and Kraft Canada plans a price increase of 35% on its peanut butter at the beginning of 2012.
“We’re committed to continuing to offer consumers the great taste and high quality Kraft peanut butter they enjoy and thus the increase,” one Kraft employee said through gritted teeth and with a forced smile, beads of flop-sweat forming on her twitching brow.*
Of course, this offers little consolation for the hard-working parents who are toiling away to provide their children with the lives they deserve. What about them? What about their children? Won’t someone please think of the children? The impact of this price increase on families could be devastating.
“We probably won’t be happy about it but we will still buy it,” one mother told a reporter in a discussion about the crisis. “As picky as children are with food, you will buy what they eat.”
Indeed. But how long can such a situation be tolerated? And how do you measure the true cost of such a disaster – how do you measure the sorrow, the pain? It adds up, and it isn’t peanuts.
Oh, btw, there’s going to be mass extinction in the oceans “within a single generation” – you can learn more about that here.
*The visage of Ms Stephanie Minna Cass is entirely the product of speculation on the part of the author.